I have beavers behind my house.

Beavers are a pest with which most people have no experience. In fact, most people might be loath to call them a pest at all. It is very easy for the average person to find many admirable qualities in beavers. After all, they are diligent: never leaving a task undone, hardworking: never stopping from sundown to sunup, thrifty: making the most with a few sticks and mud. They never complain or boast. Ingenuity is their hallmark. Some of their dams make the architects of the Golden Gate bridge appear as simpletons. I guess I even admire them. The way the British admire the Germans.

Beavers came to my creek several years ago. We have had an uneasy relationship every since. My neighbors have had ideas of ridding the beavers from our creeks since they first arrived. "They will kill all our timber", they said. I defended them , pointing out that beavers had given us the nice , wide, fertile bottoms we have in our creeks through their generations of labor. They looked at me as some kind of a wild-eyed ecofreak living among them, to be tolerated but not understood. Well all this has changed recently. The beavers have proven to me that they do not play fairly. Give them an acre and they will take 40. They are land gobblers and resource wasters of the worst type. They breed faster than welfare mothers. They are taking over my creek!!

Beavers ponds are wonderful places for many kinds of wildlife. Ducks, kingfishers and other water birds like to call a beaver pond home. Of course, the ponds offer habitat to many species of fish and crustaceans. But for trees, beavers are deadly. The flooded areas kill the trees by depriving the roots of oxygen. Also, beavers cut down many trees and "gird" many more. Girding is debarking the trees in a full circle at the base, killing the tree. Beavers seem to like to do this. Perhaps they like the sunshine that is able to reach them when the tree dies.

My beavers and I lived in a state of equilibrium for the last few years. However, this year, all of that has changed. The beavers have busted out of their small area in such a rapid and completely successful way that another German analogy comes to mind - Blitzkrieg! The beavers spent the latter part of last year building dams and flooding the bottomlands for 1/4 mile below their previous lair. These trees that they have flooded will join the others as "standing ghosts" when summer comes unless these beavers are stopped. The timber can withstand flooding during the winter, but not the spring and summer growing season.

I have recently begun some exploratory probes against the beavers to find their strength and tactics. I had earlier torn out some of the smaller downstream dams just to perfect my tactics and aggravate them. Now I was going for the big raid, something like Doolittle's raid on Tokyo in 1942, to demoralize them and to show them my strength. I was going to tear out their main dam, the one I had left untouched for all these years. This is the dam that keeps their lodge underwater. Surely my power will put fear into them, causing them to move on to someone else's land, some sadder and weaker person who wouldn't stand up to their bullying. I might even shoot one of the poor creatures when they desperately rush out of the lodge to repair the tear in the structure of their civilization I had caused. No such luck. The water went out and the pond dried up but the beavers showed no sign of trying to repair the dam until long after I had to go inside. They did all their work under cover of darkness and now live in a fully flooded pond again

So what is left to me? Complacency, just let the beavers have the creek and pretend I don't notice. Continuing thewar in an escalating fashion - traps, snares, dynamite. Maybe even a hired assassin to help take down the beavers. No, I think my way will be total consumption in the battle. A no holds barred approach not seen in the battle of man against rodent since Bill Murray in "Caddyshack". I think the beavers have made a serious blunder in turning their biggest Drowning Creek ally into their worst nightmare. Beavers beware, the rules have changed.

News Flash!! 2/15/99 - One beaver now taken.
Beavers reported to be in disarray. Story to follow.
Update: 2/23/99Two more beavers taken as beaver dynasty
continues to crumble!!